S2E5: It's finally warming up in most of the country, which means one thing. Customers handing us things from their sweaty nether regions is about to become a thing again. And just when you thought perspiration soaked money from socks and boobs was the worst we would face, TRB bore witness to something far more disgusting. So pop in those earbuds and grab a barf bag, because this one will trigger your upchuck reflex. And if you've ever wondered if the employees at a pizza place get pizza parties as a reward, Ranty has the answer for you. Mix in a few more tales of retail fuckery, and you have this week's episode of The Retail Rant Podcast! So kick back, relax, and as always, make sure you're wearing someone else's nametag!
The Ranty Hotline is open! Call 810-373-9790, release some retail rage, and get it played on the show!
Couch Party App. Google Play Store. Do it. DO IT NOW!
TRB gets to relax a bit as three good friends of the show grab the reins this week in Season 2's first fan takeover. Sean William Brown and Mike Bookseller start us off with their top five things they actually like about retail, and TRB jumps in with Retail Side Eye to double the fun towards the end. Here's just a sample of what you'll hear about in Season 2, Episode 3 - Seafood hide and seek/creepy basements/dumb shit that corporate sends/things thrown at TRB/Rostered On/discount candy/bad crabcakes/Fios dies
Support the guys and pick up a copy of Sean's literary masterpieces "Dear Customer" and "Walmart: I Don't Belong Here", check out Mike's artistic stylings at krrobar.com, as well as their joint venture, thesku.org. And get over to facebook.com/retailcomicbook to support our good friend Steven Petrivelli by picking up a copy of RETAIL, now available for pre-order!
And be sure to check out the entire #CouchPartyCrew on the award winning Couch Party app from the Google Play Store! 100's of episodes, 10 great podcasts, all in 1 FREE app!
Season 2 continues with the return of an awesome guest, Retail Hades! Check it out as Ranty and Hades team up to talk about more fuckery in cellular sales, and a #dearcustomer moment that will have you tearing up (from laughter, we're not real sensitive around here). Tales of retail past, idiots of retail present, and what you can expect in the future, all rolled into one episode! So pull out those earphones and fill out some more job applications as TRB and Hades help you through yet another #FucktardFriday in retail hell! And as always, make sure you;re wearing someone else's nametag!
The Social Stuff
Hades - @Retail_Hades His better half - @Pharmacy_Hades
TRB - @The_Retail_Rant
Support the best crew in podcasting today by downloading the Couch Party app for your Android device! It's the best way to listen to 10 amazing podcasts in just one click of the finger. Perfectly priced for the underpaid retail employee - IT'S FREE! So go grab it now from the Google Play Store!
Season 2 is here! And who better to kick it off with than the creative mind behind the Retail comic book, Steven Petrivelli! Steven and TRB discuss what drives them to create their content, share stories from retail hell, and talk about what the reader can expect from this amazing comic. And despite their mutual hatred of working behind a cash register, you'll hear about some of the (few) good things that can come from being a corporate number. So plug in those earbuds, drown out the rest of the break room, and enjoy the season premiere of The Retail Rant Podcast!
The social stuff
Steven Petrivelli - @Steve_Petro / facebook.com/retailcomicbook
TRB - @The_Retail_Rant
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It's been too long my friends, but don't fret. Ranty has returned. Despite a brief hiatus (not of my own choosing), TRB is back to heal the wounds of retail hell. Listen in as Ranty discusses what happened, how it went down, and why he's not all that mad about it (still kinda pissed, but not really). And then it's back to destroying retail and all it's fuckery. It's also a perfect time to bring a close to season 1 and get ready to bring you season 2, packed with customer fuckery and corporate idiocy. So kick back and enjoy the season finale (NOT a series finale, relax)!
And be sure to check out the dopest crew in podcasting, the Couch Party crew! Check all these great shows out on our Android app, and drop some 5-star love over on iTunes!
Couch Party - Miserable Retail Slave - Doom and The Beast - Jake and Tom Conquer the World - Let Me Tell Ya - Let's Get Drunk and Talk Comics - Penrose vs. Anybody - The Nerd Rage Podcast - The Mixed Feelings Podcast (who also has an amazing YouTube channel - check it out!)
Well it's time to drop another throwback episode of the show this week, and what better way to do it than by bringing you the first ever guest on The Retail Rant. Joined by Sol (@_seasun), TRB finds out what it's like to be a server again after being out of the game for over 15 years. Whether it's the "Diet Coke" response to "Hi, I'm...", the ridiculous perceptions of what they saw on TV versus the food in front of them, or just general assholishness, waiting tables still sucks. And your Fuck You Notes get the "live commentary" treatment this week too! So kick back and enjoy this classic episode with your favorite drink, or just catch it in 15 minute segments on your breaks. Be certain to wear those earbuds, but most importantly, make sure you're wearing someone else's fucking nametag!
In the second TRBtalk of 2017, TRB sits down to discuss a piece of American culture that is slowly working itself into oblivion. The shopping mall. We all have them in our towns, and it was probably a piece of your teenage years growing up. Meeting someone there on a Friday night, taking them there for the first date on Saturday, or maybe even (gasp) shopping, we've all got at least one mall memory. And whether it's a good or bad memory, it's a part of our youth thats engrained forever.
But now we've "grown up", and gotten a job at the mall as we try to afford all the things that adult life necessitates. But something is amiss. This isn't the mall we know and love. It's merely a shell of it's former self. Why is that? Well kick back with a cold one as TRB explains why the American shopping mall is dying, and why it may be time for you to fire up that escape pod.
Yet another week of retail hell is in the books, and TRB is here to tell you all about it. Hopefully it's a cathartic thing for you, because this week we are dredging up some of the worst of TRB's last month behind the cash register. It all starts with a meeting (see #rantytweetsameeting for reference), followed up by a woman who deserves a dropkick, and sprinkled with some customer douchebaggery for good measure. So whether you're paying your way through college as a cashier, or stuck in middle management with no end in sight, this show is for you. Because let's be honest, there's a little bit of The Ranty Bastard in all of us!
Not enough TRB for ya? Check out the latest appearances of TRB with the #CouchPartyCrew on the totally FREE Couch Party App for Android! Talking RetroPie and wrestling with HAB of Couch Party, or the first in "studio" appearance on Penrose Vs. Anybody with the great Penrose Eames, it's been an exciting month for TRB!
TRB @The_Retail_Rant The Ranty Hotline - 810-373-9790
Welcome back to another week of retail fuckery! It's been a while since we've checked in on the mall scene, and this week's guest gives us some insight to where this former institution is headed. So Ranty is joined this week by yet another amazing guest, Heather D., to discuss just that. You'll hear about the uber competitive mall walkers, the creepers at the window and how to shame them, along with why Heather feels like she is working in the underbelly of a dying beast. See that the struggle to escape retail is even more difficult when you can start to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. But it's not all doom and gloom, so kick back and enjoy another great guest appearance on The Retail Rant!
The Social Things
Heather - @IB4ECeptAfterC
Ranty - @The_Retail_Rant
Did #dearcustomer give you an anonymous 1 star review? Boss forced you to accept an expired coupon from 2013? Corporate fucking up your day with conference calls? Well don't hold in the rage my friends! Call the Ranty Hotline at 810-373-9790 and let those frustrations go! Get them played on the show, as well as any topics you want covered on a future episode! Drunk dials totally encouraged!
Time to enjoy one of the greatest guests to join The Retail Rant! After much rescheduling, TRB is FINALLY joined in studio by the host of Penrose Vs. Anybody (and fellow Couch Party member), Dr. Penrose Eames!!! We talk about his show, some retail, Penrose says what everybody feels about Wal-Mart, TRB reminds everyone that they are just a number to corporate, B-Dubs wings are lame, and much more! This is by far one of the funniest, laugh out loud episodes of the show, so maybe the break room isn't the best spot to listen (unless you like those crazy looks from co-workers). But it's served up perfectly at home with your favorite adult beverage!
The Social Stuff
Penrose - @PenroseEames (the name changes every 6 minutes, so just use the @)
TRB - @The_Retail_Rant
Find both shows and many more on the totally awesome, 100% FREE Couch Party app for Android! The best collection of shows in one simple click, including all these great shows - Miserable Retail Slave, Couch Party, Jake and Tom Conquer the World, Nerd Rage, Mixed Feelings, Let's Get Drunk and Talk Comics, and Let Me Tell Ya! Download it now!
It's easy to have a good laugh when talking about customers and corporate. We've done if for the last year and a half together. But this week, TRB is throwing you a curveball. What, no customer fuckery? No corporate monkeys bombing your inbox? Not this week friend. It's time to take a look into the future of retail. It's time for TRB to rip off "TEDtalks", and make you think about your own future in retail hell. 2017 will be a big year for the evolution of retail technology, and we need to give it some serious thought. Could an app replace you? Will e-commerce cost me my job? How will the success or failure of Amazon Go impact MY job in 10 years?
In an era where trends and data are valued more than employee experience, you have to look at the total picture. And that's what this first episode in the series of TRBtalks is intended to do. We will look into a time not too far away, and be forced to ask ourselves, "Is my time in retail almost up?". And for many of us, the time is drawing near. But do we realize it? Are we aware of the things happening behind the scenes that could cost us our paycheck? If you aren't, then please pay close attention to this episode. Questions will be asked, but only you have the right answers.
Yup, it snowed this week. And as expected, everyone from the district manager to the customers lost their damn minds. And who better to dissect their idiocy than TRB! Featuring the classic snowstorm phone calls ("Are you open?", "Are you coming in?"), the moron who wants an employee to come shovel their driveway, DMs who say "the roads aren't THAT bad", a few Fuck You Notes, and unispiring inspirational quotes, this weeks episode has it all! So grab a cold beer (or enjoy your leftover bread and milk), kick back and relax, as The Ranty Bastard discusses and destroys this week in retail hell!
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Drop a 5-star iTunes review for The Retail Rant, as well as the rest of the #couchpartycrew. And download that Couch Party app for your Android device to get nine of the best independent podcasts out there. It's FREE and totally AWESOME!
Merry Christmas to all my retail brethren! It's break time for TRB, which means it's time to dig into the vault and bring you one of the very first episodes! Forgive the audio, as this was originally the fifth episode of the show, in a time where production, editing and decent mics didn't exist. But the ranting was just as strong as ever! In this classic rewind, you'll hear about the hatred of a loyalty card, speakerphone assholes, haggling hags and more! So take a break yourself, crack open a cold beer (or a warm one, who am I to judge?!), and take a trip down memory lane with The Ranty Bastard. And here's to hoping that we all get what we want for Christmas - someone else's nametag!
Closing out 2016 this week, TRB is joined by the mastermind behind retailanonymous.com, Rex! Of course he's wearing someone else's nametag, but the stories are real. We discuss the three C's that suck a retail workers soul dry (customers, coupons, and corporate), recount some tales that have been submitted to the site, retailanonymous.com itself, and get the scoop on why Rex was recently fired. And there's a special surprise at the end, as we learn what the first thing Rex did after his termination! So strap in, grab your favorite beverage, and prepare to have TRB and Rex invade your ear spaces with retail fuckery, all while wearing someone else's nametag!
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All things social!
Rex - @retailblogsite, retailanonymous.com
TRB - @The_Retail_Rant
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What an accurate name for a Black Friday show! But instead of talking about the deal seeking dicks that are surrounding us today, TRB wants to make you laugh and forget that misery. And how will he accomplish that? By bringing back two guests who make dicks their business! Returning to The Retail Rant, Laine and Muse are bringing laughter, dick jokes, and some cringe inducing DVD titles this week to help you forget about the shitty shifts you're working this weekend. Along with some retail stories that will make you say "Maybe my job isn't THAT bad", this isn't your typical Retail Rant!
Do the social thing!
Laine - @sexstorewoes
Muse - @MusingsInRetail
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This week's episode features another author from the realm of retail hell, Jess E. Her new book focuses on the 28 different ways that determine if a customer is an ass, as well as some snark that even made TRB laugh! We delve into not only the book itself, but also some personal experiences that lead us each to our creative outlets. Don't mind the synthesized voice-over - Jess takes the anonymous thing very seriously.
So be sure to pick up a copy of Confessions of a Retail Whore: 28 Ways to Determine If You Are a Complete Ass on amazon.com. And if you are a Kindle UNlimited member - it's free! So go get it!
Are you listening on the Couch Party app yet? By now you should be, because A. It's been out for almost a year B. It's FREE and C. Where else will you get the 9 best indy pods out there? Download it now!
And as always, your charitable donation of a 5-star review can be left on iTunes. It costs nothing but a few minutes of your time to support TRB and the whole #CouchPartyCrew, so show us some love! And once you do that, treat yourself with a frosty beverage, kick back and enjoy a new episode. But always make sure that you're wearing someone else's muthafuckin nametag!!
Feel like you should win gold for dodging that customer as you dash for your break? Ever thought that you earned a medal by enduring a marathon of insults from a client? Well if so, then this week's episode is for you! From the "Retail Olympics" and the desire to slap a customer, to the people that think we go to "school" just to work this job, TRB has got it all covered on this installment of The Retail Rant podcast.
Don't forget about the rest of the #Couch party crew, and download the Couch Party app for 9 of the best independent podcasts available! It's 100% free, so even a retail employee can afford it (admit it, we're all broke).
So kick back, grab a cold one, and most importantly, be sure you're wearing someone else's nametag!
This week, we delve into the food and beverage industry with the host of the Effinbe Podcast, Steve Arce. He tells tales of customer service hell from over a decade in the business, and we discuss how to solve the problem of customer stupidity. We launch into the rant-osphere on topics like coupons, apps, and all kinds of general idiocy. So prepare yourself for lots of profanity, lots of fun, and a great show!
Be sure to support Steve by subscribing to his show on iTunes and leaving a 5-star review. Follow him on Twitter (@effinbepodcast) and catch up on the problems facing both sides of the counter.
Don't have the Couch Party app yet? Well get it for FREE on the Google Play Store already! Get access to 9 of the best independent podcasts available today. And drop some commentary over at smartasspods.com - the official home of the #CouchPartyCrew !
Joining TRB this week in her return to the show, it's Heather D (@IB4ECeptAfterC) to discuss why she is still drinking 2 days after 4th of July! Customers that make up their own post-holiday sales, TRB gets stuff thrown at him, and a absurd interaction that one of TRB's friends had this week. It's all in this week's episode!
You should not only download the Couch Party app, but you should also leave some 5-star love for the #CouchPartyCrew on iTunes! It's the easiest and best way to support the crew, and continue to help us in our plan for podcast domination!
So plug in those earbuds (the boss might not like what we have to say), find somewhere that customers can't find you (bathrooms aren't as safe as you may think), but most importantly, be sure to wear someone else's nametag!
Bookstores aren't for interviews! Or are they? TRB is joined this week by @MikeBookseller for some insight into what it's like working in a "big box" bookstore. From cafe interviews and homeless hangouts, to the manager getting beat up and that one overly religious person we've all worked with, you'll find it all in this episode!
Be sure to check out and support Mike's side projects, theSKU.org and krrobar.com. He brings the misery of retail hell straight to the funny pages 4 days a week, and he'll have you realizing that his artwork is your reality every day!
DOWNLOAD THE COUCH PARTY APP!!!!! It's totally free, and packed with 9 of the best damn podcasts that you'll find in one place, all for FREE!!! Subscribe, and be sure to drop some those 5-star review on 'em!
So let's kick back, relax, leave The Ranty Bastard a 5-star iTunes review, but most importantly, be sure to wear someone else's nametag!
The Retail Rant turns 50 this week! (Well, fifty weeks that is.) In usual ranty fashion, TRB serves up his take on the world known as retail hell. On this week's episode, the guys out there will learn what happens when you slip an underage girl your number, how TRB's soul has died from "kindness", and the best lies that customers have told retail employees when returning merchandise. A big thanks to everyone that sent in their comments on Twitter (@The_Retail_Rant)!
Be sure to support the Couch Party Crew by downloading the Couch Party app on Android. It's totally free, and packed full with eight of the best independent podcasts out there! And take a minute to check out out our new website, smartasspods.com! And vote #TRB2016 in the Couch Party primaries!
So kick back, leave a 5-star iTunes review (50 weeks and only 10 reviews? Come on!), and most importantly, be sure to wear someone else's nametag!
What's the single worst day in retail? You guessed it, inventory day! Join TRB this week as he talks about how much he hates inventory, both the day of, and the mad scramble leading to it. This episode previously "aired" in 2015, but with so many new listeners, how could I deny you? Laugh because it's funny, cringe because it's true. And as always, enjoy, leave a review, and destroy if necessary!
No, it's not a Sandra Bullock movie review, it's this week's episode of the Retail Rant! Join your old pal TRB as he discusses how the internet has ruined brick and mortar retail, and made the job of the retail employee more difficult than ever. Also, check out our spot for a Google app that we all want, but will never happen. Subscribe on iTunes (and leave a 5-star review!) for all you Apple people, or get your fix on The Couch Party app for Android.
Be sure to support our sponsor, accessorygeeks.com, by getting all your tech accessory needs! They offer year-round free shipping, and for a limited time, you can still take 13% off of your order by using promo code "party5". This deal won't last much longer, so get all your phone cases for iPhone and Galaxy while you still can! Support the show and support the geeks at accessorygeeks.com!
And as always, enjoy, leave a review, and destroy if necessary!
"Sales will be up in February!" they said.
"Everyone is getting their tax money and going shopping" they said.
Well if you listen to this show, you know that "they" is corporate, and "they" are a bunch of bean counting idiots. So join TRB this week on the Rant as we discuss the stupidity behind February sales targets, the new products that make our own "As Seen on TV" hell, and a thrashing of people with expired coupons. It's a blast making this show for all of you, and this one was no exception.
WARNING - 2 SHAMELESS PLUGS FOLLOW
First, be sure to support our sponsor, accessorygeeks.com. They have everything you need for every piece of tech in your life, from phone cases and chargers to tablet covers and Bluetooth. Take advantage of their always FREE shipping, and be sure to use promo code "party5" to save an additional 13% off of your total purchase.
Also, a great friend of the show has published his first book outlining his time in retail hell! So get over to Amazon and purchase your copy of Frank Lee's "Why We Hate You: A Retailer's Confession", available in eBook, paperback and hardcover! It's an honest portrayal of what life is like in retail hell after 20 years, and much like this show, it strikes back for all the retail grunts out there! And be sure to leave your five star reviews for both Frank and TRB! Enjoy!
This week TRB takes a back seat to two ladies that not only do a great job as mothers, but somehow manage to juggle a full retail schedule too. Join Mrs. TRB and Heather (Twitter @IB4ECeptAfterC) as they discuss what the struggle is like to not only be management in retail, but being a mom to 2 kids as well. From old ladies rubbing pregger bellies, to people comparing their German Shepherds to your kids, this episode is just what the doctor ordered for all you working moms out there!
Be sure to visit accessorygeeks.com and support the show! From phone accessories to household gadgets, the geeks at acccessorygeeks.com have you covered. Take advantage of their year-round FREE shipping, and use promo code "party5" to save an additional 13% off your total purchase!